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Friday 7 December 2012

Understanding The Dynamics Of Death And Dying

By Albert Arce


Majority of us fear death, the uncertainties and unknown that lie behind it. What is next after it? How to cope with it? How will you go on with life knowing that someone beloved will never be with you ever again? A well-known Japanese writer named Haruki Murakami said in his novel that death is not the opposite of life but an innate part of it. Death as such is an inevitable fact of life - nobody is spared from it. But then again, being inevitable does not change the fact that the experience of dying and death is among the most agonizing human experiences. Loss gives us deep sorrow that neither kindness nor sincerity can cure or even alleviate.

A Swiss American psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross pioneered several studies about near death experiences, dying and death and she came up with the famous "Five Stages of Grief". She explained that there are 5 fundamental stages of bereavement however, a person who is grieving doesn't necessarily go through all the stages nor in specific order.

DABDA is the generally known acronym of the five stages. Letter D stands for denial. It is the temporary defence mechanism which can be either unconscious or conscious. Letter A stands for anger. This stage is characterised by a strong emotion of envy and rage, wherein the individual blames himself or other people to release the tension he is experiencing. Letter B stands for bargaining. This phase involves the feeling of hope that it's possible to negotiate or postpone on the passing. Letter D stands for depression. This is the phase wherein the loss is recognised and the person starts to cry and grieve accompanied by sorrow, doubts and fear. Lastly, letter A stands for acceptance, wherein the person begins to accept the truth and attempts to begin a new life without the loved one who departed.

As human beings we have strong regard to our departed love ones. In fact, this specific trait sets us apart from the rest of the animals in the animal kingdom. In connection to that, it is customary for almost all cultures all over the world to conduct funeral ceremonies for the departed. In the Merlion City, most funeral service Singapore provides comprehensive ceremonies that take in to account the departed's beliefs and customs.

There's no question that losing a loved-one is indeed a roller coaster of emotions. It is physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually draining, not to mention the stresses of planning for a funeral rite. Nowadays, funeral services in Singapore are equipped to offer wholesome peaceful funeral services. Most of the companies are pretty helpful and empathetic during these bereavement moments.




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