Monday, September 24, 2012
Interview by Lon Woodbury
Mary Romero, Life Teacher, Writer, and Child Activist working in Virginia talked to Lon Woodbury on L.A. Talk Radio about the best ways to raise healthy and balanced children by instructing parents on exactly how to establish physical and emotional boundaries and limits.
Background: Mary Romero
Mary, a survivor of an abusive childhood, molestation, and domestic violence has well over 20 years professional counseling experience with misbehaving kids. She is an expert in Dialectical Behavior Therapy and shows her clients how to improve their lives and relationships through cultivating healthy and balanced thought processes. Mary is a professional counselor and an expert in conflict resolution. She works with families to strengthen parent-child relationships. Her latest book is called "The Breakdown of the All American Family."
Defining Boundaries
Although the idea of establishing boundaries is often discussed when teaching parenting skills, many individuals only have a hazy understanding of exactly what the term actually means. Mary defined it as teaching kids recognition for themselves and others, as well as teaching them about having compassion and empathy for other individuals. She suggested that boundaries should be should be taught within the first few months after birth.
Boundaries are important because without them children are under the mistaken impression they can get whatever they want whenever they want it. Juvenile delinquents, Mary pointed out, had never learned about boundaries- consequently they had no hesitation about stealing nor did they think twice about indulging in substance abuse.
Boundaries, in fact, helped children feel loved and appreciated. It showed them that their parents were worried about their misbehavior and were willing to apply consequences to reinforce good behavior. The most significant challenges both mothers and fathers face when it comes to specifying boundaries is not following through on applying consequences. This sends kids the wrong message entirely: they mistake leniency for consent to cross boundaries.
Tips on Setting Boundaries
In her counseling job, Mary said that parents make two primary blunders when it came to boundaries: befriending children and not working in harmony with the other parent.
While it was fine for parents to be friendly, it was a mistake for them to relate to their children as friends. Children who regarded their parents as friends did not listen to them when the parents set boundaries.
In those circumstances where separated parents lived in different houses, if boundaries were to be effective both the mother and father had to stick to the very same values and rules.
Interview by Lon Woodbury
Mary Romero, Life Teacher, Writer, and Child Activist working in Virginia talked to Lon Woodbury on L.A. Talk Radio about the best ways to raise healthy and balanced children by instructing parents on exactly how to establish physical and emotional boundaries and limits.
Background: Mary Romero
Mary, a survivor of an abusive childhood, molestation, and domestic violence has well over 20 years professional counseling experience with misbehaving kids. She is an expert in Dialectical Behavior Therapy and shows her clients how to improve their lives and relationships through cultivating healthy and balanced thought processes. Mary is a professional counselor and an expert in conflict resolution. She works with families to strengthen parent-child relationships. Her latest book is called "The Breakdown of the All American Family."
Defining Boundaries
Although the idea of establishing boundaries is often discussed when teaching parenting skills, many individuals only have a hazy understanding of exactly what the term actually means. Mary defined it as teaching kids recognition for themselves and others, as well as teaching them about having compassion and empathy for other individuals. She suggested that boundaries should be should be taught within the first few months after birth.
Boundaries are important because without them children are under the mistaken impression they can get whatever they want whenever they want it. Juvenile delinquents, Mary pointed out, had never learned about boundaries- consequently they had no hesitation about stealing nor did they think twice about indulging in substance abuse.
Boundaries, in fact, helped children feel loved and appreciated. It showed them that their parents were worried about their misbehavior and were willing to apply consequences to reinforce good behavior. The most significant challenges both mothers and fathers face when it comes to specifying boundaries is not following through on applying consequences. This sends kids the wrong message entirely: they mistake leniency for consent to cross boundaries.
Tips on Setting Boundaries
In her counseling job, Mary said that parents make two primary blunders when it came to boundaries: befriending children and not working in harmony with the other parent.
While it was fine for parents to be friendly, it was a mistake for them to relate to their children as friends. Children who regarded their parents as friends did not listen to them when the parents set boundaries.
In those circumstances where separated parents lived in different houses, if boundaries were to be effective both the mother and father had to stick to the very same values and rules.
About the Author:
The founder of Struggling Teens, Lon Woodbury has the recorded the entire interview on his weekly L.A. Talk Radio show for people to listen to at any time.
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