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Monday, 23 July 2012

Anger Management Online: How Your Thinking Makes Your Anger Worse!

By Kate Hardy


Do you walk around feeling angry and annoyed all day? Find yourself going over and over the same angry thoughts? The way you think has a lot to do with how you feel each day. Most people believe thoughts are just automatic, and that they don't have much control over them. But thats not true! Our thoughts are under our control, and by changing our thoughts you can change how you feel. This article talks about common thoughts of people with anger management problems and how you can change them.

Basing your actions on how you feel is called emotional reasoning. With this way of thinking you act as if your feelings were facts. It can lead to feeling very angry and resentful and cause a lot of conflict. For example if you feel rejected and ignored then you act as if that is true. When the other person may just be busy and not have as much time available for you as you would like. It is very dangerous to act on our feelings without checking the truth of the matter first. One of the problems with anger is that it clouds your judgement and you react first. This often leads to problems at home and at work. Slow down and take time to calm down before reacting to your feelings.

Another thinking error in to be convinced that you know what someone else s' thoughts are. You might feel convinced that they have made a decision just to annoy you, or that they really have certain thoughts about you. The truth is that other people don't think about us near as much as we imagine! This style of thinking is known as 'mind reading' and it is the source of a lot of frustration and resentment at home and work. If you catch yourself mind reading, stop, slow down and try and gain some perspective.

Do you find yourself imagining really awful things happening sometimes? Well angry people can often have this pattern of thinking called catastrophic thoughts. It means that you quickly imagine the very worst happening. Your partner doesn't answer your call straight away end up with you thinking they are having an affair. It is a way of thinking that causes you to feel like you must act urgently to resolve your anxiety. Often it is the cause of big conflict in relationships and a lot of stress for the person. The underlying cause of this is anxiety. Most people with anger management problems have anxiety problems also.

Learning about your styles of thinking will enable you to reduce your anger outbursts. You will feel much less stressed and resentful. Skills to recognize and challenge thinking errors are taught in anger management class.

Anger control involves not only changing your thinking, but also eating well and getting plenty of exercise. It also a good ideas to get a general health check up as often those with anger problems suffer from anxiety or depressive disorders also. Taking holistic approach to anger management and working on your thinking will get faster results.




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